Get Real

---> Do not steal my words. I know that I use some pretty ridiculous words/phrases and one might be inclined to pass them as their own…but don’t. And if you do, just don’t do it around me. Funny story: I once had a ‘friend’ on facebook who would copy my status updates and post them as her own -- verbatim. Literally. Needless to say I called her out on it on her page and we’re no longer Facebook ‘friends’. Big loss there.

---> Speaking of Facebook -- Please do not be THAT person who posts a billion photos of your child. I do not want to see 3,0000 shots of little Susie eating Cheerios.

---> Who developed the recall message feature in Outlook? WTF is the point of recalling a message if the recipient then receives a notification of your attempt to recall said message?! Fabulous. So even IF you are successful in your recall attempt, the recipient now wonders what the hell you sent to them and why you are such a moron.

---> And lastly, do not be what I call an office nomad. Do not walk around lingering in others’ offices making small talk, commenting on their pictures, and just being overtly aggravating. This is why I have ONE photo in my office and ZERO mementos. Buh-bye, off you go to your next clueless victim.

Happy Hump Day.

Hodge Podge

So I apologize for not posting in almost an entire week.  I had to travel last week for work and had essentially zero downtime to dedicate to this baby.  So you might be wondering where exactly I was this week -- drumroll please -- South Texas.  Yes, that's right.  I spent the majority of my week driving to various small (incredibly shitty) towns for meetings.  That might sounds harsh, but if you haven't realized it already -- brutal honesty is my speciality. 

At any rate, I am happy to be back home in Dallas.  And I was even happier to come home to 3 pretty little packages (see below).  I am pretty much obsessed with bracelets right now, particularly those that resemble chain links.  I also fell in love with this state necklace when I came across the designer in Lucky magazine.  Oh, and you might be perplexed as to why an Ohio charm is pictured below.  That is assuming you were able to decipher the correct state shape (if not, there is little hope for your intellectual capacity and you should probably stop reading now).  Well...I am originally from Ohio.  I know, I know -- I just scream midwestern charm.  Obvi.

From left to right: J. Crew and Savvy Cie Jewels

I would also like to add that I am lusting these Sam Edelman studded flats.  AMAZING.  I might need to drop the $150 immediately as these shoes belong in my closet. 

 In other news: My boyfriend and I went on a walk on the trail near our home earlier and here are some key take-aways:
1. If your run consists of your limp hands flailing from side to side, then you should probably walk. 
2. Running with Gucci sunglasses on just looks plain ridiculous. 
3. Men playing cornhole in dresses (no lie) -- now that is my idea of 'Sunday Funday'.

With that, I am off to drink some wine.  It only seems right...

Classic Chanel

Classic Chanel by jjglamgal featuring vintage earrings

Today it is all about Chanel -- nothing is more the epitome of classic chic to me.  I've been on the cusp of purchasing my own quilted lambskin beauty for quite some time now.  I just can't decide if I want the classic black or something a little more daring (such as the red vixen above).  Either way, I am getting one -- rest assured.  I mean, what girl doesn't absolutely adore Chanel?!  Dress me in a pair of vintage studs, signature two toned ballet flats, and one of their signature tweed jackets and I promise to act like a truly charming lady ;)

Until then 5 things I am LOATHING right now -- in no specifc order:

1) When the front desk attendant at the gym refers to me (and every other woman that walks through the door) as 'sweetie'.  Um, no.   I don't know you, I'm not a small child, and you sound like a creep.  I understand I live in the south now (Dallas to be exact) but I refuse to accept that as a credible explanation. 

2) When I have a meeting at work with a bunch of middle-age men and the facilitator uses the following icebreaker: "Name your favorite love song."  Epic Fail. 

3) The fact that some designers can create a collection that looks like saggy paper bags on models and then deem it as "Minimalist."  Who wants to walk around looking like a homeless person?

4) Kim Kardashian's crying face.  It haunts me and is absolutely dreadful.  I am even tempted to practice crying in the mirror to ensure that I do not look that way.  Ever.  In life. 

5)  Dressing in head-to-toe pastels.  Easter is in April.  I am sure one can wait until then for the lavish easter basket (versus walking around like a human one). 

And with that, farewell darlings. 

xoxo

JJ

Stylish and Snarky Debut

Hmm, what is the proper way to introduce oneself to the blogger world?  I suppose a photo is cliche, but it seems rather appropriate.  So here I am.  I have been thinking about starting a blog for some time now, and after some continuous prodding from my friend Jen (belledecouture.com) I have finally taken the plunge.

So you might be asking -- what's my angle?  What is this blog going to be about?  To be frank, I haven't been sitting around my apartment creating a vision board with 457693723 posts already mapped out in my mind.  BUT what I can tell you is that I love fashion.  And that I am rather sarcastic/snarky.  So what you will probably find on a regular basis is a mixture of my newest obsessions, some current looks I throw together, and my brutal honest opinion about --- well --- whatever the hell I am thinking about at the moment. 

For example, I would say my style is combination of classic chic with some trendy pieces.  I emphasize 'some' because let's be frank: not every trend is suitable to every body type and some trends I just downright hate.  Case in point: floral prints.  Right now floral prints (the bigger the better) are popping up everywhere.  Well, I hate them.  I have no desire to walk around with a sunflower print on my ass; furthermore, I don't like floral prints in general.  At all.  I actually just walked over to my closet and did a quick peruse through my wardrobe...verdict?  2 floral prints.  I'm pretty sure those purchases were to prove to myself I'm a sweet innocent girl at heart.  Fail.

So there you have it -- a prime example of my combination of stylish and snarky.  I hope you all stop by again (and by all I mean dozen or so friends who oblige me).  Until next time...

xoxo
JJ